Has anyone ever told you that you are “too nice”? What do they mean by that? Isn’t being “nice” the same thing as being kind? The world could surely use more kindness these days. So why is being “nice” something we should hold back from?
Being nice or kind is undoubtedly an admiral quality, and you should never change who you are. It’s true that nice gestures and kind words can make a big difference in the world. In fact, the world would indeed be better if more kind-hearted people had existed. Unfortunately, when you are a good person who is simply too nice to the point of excess, it can do YOU more harm than good. You deserve some kindness as well. And the fact is that others will take advantage of your kind nature. And when these “nice” behaviors manifest for the wrong reasons, it can create an unhealthy barrier to self-growth.
There are five hidden dangers and apparent risks that can come to those who are deemed “too nice.” You may not even realize that you fall into this category. Keep reading to see if any of these resonate with you.
Growing Resentment
Are you too available for others and overly generous of yourself and your time? While you’re busy attending to everyone else’s needs, you may neglect your own needs or give them a lower priority. That can impact your self-worth and confidence. It may also cause you to experience feelings of resentment toward certain situations and people. When you are an overly nice person, you may not want to “rock the boat” and confront the behavior or express how you really feel about it. That can create an unhealthy cycle, and your self-esteem can suffer.
Attracting The Wrong Kind Of People
Do you ever feel like certain people are just using you? They may come to you only when they need or want something you have or something you can do for them. They know they can easily benefit from you without expecting anything in return. This is a common problem for people who are “too nice.” They end up attracting the wrong type of people into their lives who don’t have their best interests at heart. The result is usually the nice person is left feeling used and taken advantage of. It can lead to more growing resentment and self-esteem issues.
Mistreatment And Disrespect
Is there anyone in your life that constantly talks down to you and belittles you? You try to be nice and loving to them, but it never seems good enough. It seems like they take their anger and frustrations out on you often. But you don’t deserve to be treated that way. The problem is those types of people with toxic personalities will keep mistreating you because they know you lack boundaries and will let it go. The problem is those disrespectful behaviors can chip away at your self-esteem, steal your joy, and break your spirit.
Unrealistic Expectations Of Others
A naturally nice person can sometimes be naive. You may think that others have the same for your welfare as you do for them. The sad truth is that it doesn’t always work that way. People can be selfish and let us down. Communicating your expectations in your relationships may help. Otherwise, you’ll resent someone because they aren’t meeting your needs in the relationship.
People Take Advantage Of You
They may not initially have bad intentions, but the more you give, the more they take. People may take you for granted if you don’t assert yourself enough. They may even take advantage of you because you are too nice and then turn around and use it against you!
For a person who always sees the best in people, it feels cruel when your niceness is taken advantage of. Before you extend your generosity to others, practice self-love first. Being a nice person with genuine concern for the welfare of others is admiral, but it also requires some resilience. Remember to respect yourself and love yourself. Make sure you set boundaries for people to learn how to treat you with respect, or they will not have access to your generosity. If you do these things, you will gain confidence and keep your peace and joy.